Divorces are never easy, and there are many factors to consider while going through the entire process. Many things need to change, and in addition to all the paperwork, lawyers, and questions that need to be answered, one also has to think about your children and where they fit into the picture. Children also go through a lot while their parents are going through a divorce. Even though your own emotions might be riding on a never-ending rollercoaster, they too have a lot to process, and many thoughts may be running through their mind, most of them not entirely accurate. That said, here are some tips on how to support your child while going through a divorce.
Clear the air
The first thing to do that is of utmost importance is having a sit-down and explaining the situation. One of the most common thoughts children have when their parents are going through a divorce is the idea that they somehow had something to do with it, which is never the case. Talking to your child and explaining broadly why you and your partner have come to the decision to get a divorce will already make them feel included and set their minds at ease regarding their part in the situation. There’s no need to get into the details, but having the discussion rather than avoiding it entirely will have a much more positive effect and already take you one step in the right direction.
Consider their feelings
Many parents tend to take action without considering their children’s feelings at first, which can sometimes make the child feel as if they are merely a chess piece being moved around on a board. For example, when considering mediation vs lawyer child custody, it is important to ask your child how they feel about the situation and the scenario that is unfolding. It can be challenging for a child to come to terms with suddenly not living with both their parents anymore. Checking in on them every so often about how their life will now be going forward and allowing them to express their opinions and emotions can make a massive difference in how they will handle the new living situation in the future.
It can sometimes be hard to accept that your child may need someone else other than you, but in sensitive situations such as a divorce, your child’s needs should also be prioritized more than ever. Offering them a chance to talk to a therapist or someone other than you and your partner may allow them the opportunity to get everything their feeling and thinking, as well as their frustrations, out in the open without the fear of hurting anyone’s feelings. Children are much more sympathetic than most people give them credit for, and most of the time, they’ll never utter a word if they feel that it will hurt you in some or other way.
These tips above may make the transition easier for everyone involved when going through a divorce. At the end of the day, a divorce, even though it may be hard, can also bring you and your child much closer if approached in the proper manner.