As an Empowerment Coach for women, I love talking all things confidence. I lacked confidence basically my entire life. It wasn’t until I became a mom that I made the decision to change my life. How was I to raise confident daughters when I didn’t love myself already. I know so many of you can relate so I want to share three mistakes that are killing your confidence.
You’re putting way too much pressure on yourself!
You’ve lived your life striving for perfection, or you find yourself saying “I’ll be happy when I lose 30 lbs” or “I’ll be happy when I get that raise at work” or “I’ll be happy when I have $50K in my savings”.
All the pressure that you put on yourself isn’t helping you grow. Instead, it’s breaking you. When you have confidence, you realize the difference between goals and pressure and you are happy with who you are now. And you can love yourself today and still strive for improvement but you understand that perfection is unrealistic and doesn’t serve you at all.
You are playing the comparison game.
Fact: There are over 7 billion people in the world. And guess what? God still decided that there needed to be a YOU! Pretty incredible, right?! This is a huge reason you have to STOP COMPARING YOURSELF to others.
God made you. He created you! Not the mom next door. Not the influencer you follow on IG that seems to have all her together (spoiler alert: she doesn’t!).
When you become more confident and clear on who you are, the comparison game doesn’t get any more play. Instead, you focus on personal growth.
You’re not growing your mindset!
You have a fixed mindset. A fixed mindset is when you’re stuck thinking that things will always stay the same. You believe your qualities (or the qualities of others) are fixed. For example, she’s a natural-born leader. I can’t own my own company because I’m not like her.”
A growth mindset is a belief that YOU are in control of your ability and success.
When you’re stuck in a fixed mindset, you’re not giving yourself the opportunity to grow. And like Lou Holtz said, “If you’re not growing, you’re dying”.
The good news y’all is that you can change all of this! And, of course, I can help you do that because that’s what I do. But only if you’re willing to have an open mind and do things that you’ve never done before.
When you make the decision that you’re ready for things to be different, you get to make things different.
You need certain tools in your toolbox and that’s what I teach and coach my clients on. The women I work with have gone from wallflowers and never speaking up for themselves to starting their own businesses, asking for things they want, finding their voice, joining groups, volunteering at their kids schools, doing Facebook lives, sharing their stories vulnerably and authentically, stepping into the purpose that God has placed on their hearts.
They do the work. They focus on their growth. They trust me. And they see the results.
I know this time of year is your excuse to not invest in your growth. You’re too busy to do the work. You don’t have the time.
But let me tell you this, you don’t have time to NOT do this work.
God created us as human BEINGS but so many of you are just EXISTING and not BEING.
Now is actually the BEST time to do this because you can finally go through this season having someone by your side and literally in your pocket to help you through the stress and overwhelm.
Stop Killing Your Confidence
In order to grow your confidence, you have to make the decision that enough is enough. You have to decide that you want to become stronger, more confident, and more empowered.
I know you can do it because I did it. It’s work, but the feeling of walking into a room and not hanging on my husband’s arm makes it all worth it. You can stop killing your confidence and become the woman that you’ve always dreamed of being.