Last week, I shared a photo of myself on social media. Big deal, right? Well, this one was probably the rawest and most unfiltered photo that I’ve ever shared. (See it here on Facebook and Instagram). I shared a picture of my real, unflexed belly. The belly that has been the home to 3 babies in 3 years (a twin pregnancy and a singleton). I had back to back C-sections that left me with the extra skin and stretch marks than many women have. This led me to want to start the conversation about “body confidence postpartum”.
I realized that if I want to continue to reach and empower women to become more confident and love themselves for the badasses they are, I have to be more vulnerable. More authentic. More transparent. This is a conversation that we have to have. Period.
Four in five women have low self-esteem. Four in five!
That breaks my heart. I used to be one of those women. I know what it’s like to not love yourself or respect yourself. I know what it’s like to cry in front of the closet. Feeling so self-conscious and the opposite of beautiful. My friends would try and talk me out of the funk, but it was really pointless. I wouldn’t listen. I would try on outfit after outfit and feeling worse after each wardrobe change.
What Changed for Me?
In 2014, I found out I was pregnant with twin girls. GIRLS! That was pretty terrifying for me. I was so nervous about raising girls. How could I do that? I thought about what I wanted for them. I want all of my girls to be confident, strong women. I want them to go out and grab the world and do whatever they want. I don’t want them crying in front of the mirror or closet. I don’t want them feeling unworthy or ugly.
But, how do I teach them confidence?
It starts with me. It starts with their mother loving herself. They have to see that and truly believe it. If I treat myself poorly, they will learn that it’s okay. I picture them saying negative things about themselves and it breaks my heart. So…I decided to be the` change. Start treating myself the way they deserve to be treated. I ask myself, “would I want my daughter saying or feeling this way?” If the answer is “HELL, NO!”, then I change my thoughts.
You can’t take a magic pill and wake up feeling like Beyonce. Trust me. I Googled it. BUT you can learn some tricks that will teach you to become more confident over time. I’m sorry to tell you though…it takes WORK! Conscious work. But, hey, it’s SO WORTH IT! I PROMISE!
I had to first recognize and accept that I am in control of my feelings. Not my husband. Not my neighbor. Not the guy cut me off in traffic. ME! For some people, that’s not what they want to hear. For me, it was actually pretty empowering. Me? I have control? I can’t make the difference? Heck yes!
After you recognize and accept that, you have to start paying attention to your thoughts and feelings. Your thoughts create your feelings. Your feelings create your actions. Your actions (or inactions) create your results.
THOUGHTS -> FEELINGS -> ACTIONS -> RESULTS
For example, “I can’t sign up for that fitness program. I won’t complete it.” (thought) “I feel discouraged because I quit last time.” (feeling)
Before, I would just go with this and believe it to be true always. “Well, if I quit the last 5 times, why would this time be any different?” Now, knowing what I now know, I would ask myself “how I want to feel about starting that fitness program”. I want to feel motivated, strong, inspired to go for it. Then I ask myself what I have to think to feel motivated, strong and inspired. — I can think that I’m already strong. I can think about how great it will be too have more energy. I can think about inspiring my daughters by seeing me doing something that makes me feel good.
Body Confidence Postpartum
Again, this isn’t an overnight change. I still run into times when I’m feeling less than, but now I have the tools to work through it. I have an incredible life/business coach that can help me navigate too.
If I can do this, so can you. I have vowed to pay it forward so other women who are struggling with feeling unworthy can find their confidence. I want to help other women find their worth within themselves and provide them with the tools they need to stop hiding and start showing up in life in any way they wish. I’m not saying you have to throw pictures of yourself on Facebook without a shirt on, but I want you to feel confident and beautiful and know you can totally do that if you want!
Learning these tools have helped with dealing with my body confidence postpartum. It’s helped my not just become confident in how I look but confident in who I am as a wife, mother, daughter, friend, etc.
Do You Need a Coach?
Maybe you’ve never heard of the term “mindset coach” or maybe you have and have wondered “Is this for me?” It absolutely could be a great thing for you. Having someone that I can work through things with and will hold me accountable has been a game changer in my life.
If you would like to learn more about what I do and to see if we would be a good match, fill out this quick application and I will get in touch with you. I would love to help you!
And if you want to join my free Facebook Group that’s all about feeling empowered (mind and body), join us here!