I’ll Never Be That Mom

I remember having so many opinions prior to becoming a mom. Don’t get me wrong, I wasn’t one to vocally express those opinions, but they were in my head. I’d share with my mom and my husband, “When I become a mom, I will NEVER….” It’s pretty funny to think back at how much I knew when I clearly knew nothing! Here are the top 5 things I swore I would never do when I became a mom.

  1. Let myself go. There are still times, almost 3 years after the birth of our twin daughters, that I still question the last shower I took. Before I became a mom, I never understood how a human could go days without a shower. Seriously, it’s 5, 10 minutes tops, right?! I know there are some moms that will think I’m totally gross, but I’m just being real. Dry shampoo was invented for a reason and for that person, I am grateful. Baby spit up all over my clothes, no make up, messy hair, no showers…that was my first year of parenthood.
  2. Co-sleeping. This topic drove me crazy! I never wanted our bed to become a family bed. I like sleeping and snuggling with my husband. I swore I would never let our children in our bed consistently. The first 3 months after the twins were born, I slept on the living room couch and had each girl in the room with me in their separate pack n play. I was actually much more comfortable post C-section on the couch and I wanted to make sure my husband could get as much uninterrupted sleep as he could. After that, we moved the pack n plays to our bedroom and then at 6 months, we tried to transition to their cribs in their bedrooms. I assumed this would be a breeze. WRONG! After getting up every hour, sometimes more frequently, I decided to bring one of the girls into our bed. By 1 year, they were both co-sleeping. I justified this and called it survival. I could actually sleep in longer increments, wake to nurse and then go back to sleep. Yes, I am still sleeping with the girls, but that’s a whole different blog.  I remember sleeping with my mom as kid. I can’t remember if I did it consistently every night, but I remember having bad dreams and not wanting to sleep alone. I turned out just fine, relatively speaking.
  3. Breastfeeding past 1 year. This one I wasn’t dead set on, but for a very long time I let other people’s opinions of the topic bother me. I remember sitting at the girls’ 12 month check up and crying because I felt so much pressure to stop. The pediatrician was amazing and said that was a choice to be made between the girls and I. My husband was very supportive of my decision and so I said, I’ll start weaning at 18 months. That age came and went. 2 years came and went. Now, here we are at almost 34 months and one girl is still nursing to sleep. I’m 27.5 weeks pregnant, so I will have her weaned before the baby comes. Breastfeeding is such a personal decision. Whether you choose to do it or not, the time you choose to do so, all are the decision of the mother and child. I have learned that we all do what we believe is best for our families and we should support each other in those decisions.
  4. NO SWEETS except for special occasions. “My child will only eat a cupcake or ice cream at birthday parties or holidays.” Yea…that didn’t happen. I actually try to avoid these types of treats as much as possible but I don’t freak out over some cookies anymore. I really do enjoy finding yummy treats that don’t contain artificial things. I have learned too much about artificial sweeteners to ignore the facts, but I do realize now that treats happen and it’s okay.
  5. NO SCREEN TIME! TVs, tablets, iPhones, oh my…”I will not let my kids watch TV before the age of 3.” Guess what? Mommy finally decided to take a shower or work out and realized sometimes the only way I can get that “me time” was to put on Little Einsteins or Mickey Mouse Clubhouse. I don’t believe that their little minds are being rotted by 30 minutes of TV here and there.

One of the biggest things that Mommyhood has taught me is to judge less and love more. Being a parent is tough work. You are trying to find what works best for your family. We often feel judged and shamed for things that we do. It’s exhausting. I’ve been shamed and judged for the way I choose to take care of my family before and frankly it sucks. I never want to make another mom or dad feel that way, so I try so hard to spread kindness and encourage others to do the same.

What are some of the things that you said you would never do as a parent? I’d love to hear your opinions!

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